Did You Know It’s Almost Boyfriend Season?

It's hunting season!I saw an online ad today which informed me that it’s almost boyfriend season. There’s a season for that?! How long does it last? Is it a Spring/Summer thing and then I’m supposed to dump him in the Fall?

“Hey baby, it’s been a blast but you’re out of season now. Look me up in the Spring.”

Who wants to be alone in the Fall and Winter when Portlanders huddle for warmth in bookstores, in coffee shops, and under fluffy blankets? It makes no sense. These people must live in Florida or something.

Advertisers — sheesh.

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4 Comments »

  1. Steve Said:

    Maybe boyfriend season is just when they sprout and bloom. Or perhaps it’s when they go on sale. Or maybe it’s like deer or fish and boyfriend season is when you go hunting for them. Or it could be like the baseball season. Let the games begin!

  2. local insurgent Said:

    I didn’t know boyfriends appeared in crops like that, with periods of scarcity and abundance. I guess I wouldn’t know, since I’m a potential boyfriend myself, and certainly nobody’s going to tell ME.

    I guess I’ll have to be careful of the hunting packs of boyfriendless women. They go in groups, that much I understand. Perhaps for mutual support, or a combination of sighting, sniffing or attacking skills. I don’t know what their weapons or herding techniques may be, so I’ll need to be wide-eyed and watchful in the wet bushes. The whole thing could be painful, and I’d like to keep what 401(k) I have.

    At any rate, remember to get a nice ripe juicy one.

  3. Livette Said:

    Nice blog!

  4. Jeff Said:

    I think it’s actually the opposite. Something happens in the hormonal stream of men when Spring arrives. Women start blooming in lighter clothing, lit warmly by the sun, which awakens a deep sensation within men. Thus do they become active, perhaps poised for boyfriending. (Though the hormones suggest a different activity as it courses through the blood.)


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